Something to Make You All Laugh

Why I love my nephew, Derk. I love all my nephews and 2 nieces, but I just got this photo from my sister-in-law and it makes me laugh so hard I had to put it up here so you all can have some uplifting times amidst the sadness of the last few weeks. Apparently he had put the training toilet seat on his head. Who knows why or how he did it or when, no one ever knows with Derk. Then it got stuck. That is the second picture. Evidently if one pulled hard it caused great pain at that point. I just can't stop laughing! My sister-in-law also sent me the recorded message of him calling his uncle (who is exactly like him) asking him how to get the seat off his head. Hahaha!

Now, for all of you who remember that I did the same thing, I will try my hardest to find that picture and post it as well, so you don't rat me out. Check back to see if I've been successful later tonight. My sister told my mother that it was high time I was potty trained. My mother all but dared her to try. She said, "Go ahead, you do it!" Cindy told me to sit on the potty until I went. I sat and sat and when she turned her back, I put the chair on my head and walked around. I think my mother took a little satisfaction in that. If I find that picture I'll post it here so Derk feels some solidarity. I didn't get it stuck, though! Hahaha! Derk you're awesome!

Over 550 Records For Sale

So the last few days have been spent cleaning out and organizing my brother's records. He's got some awesome ones. I kind of wish I weren't selling them, but oh well. Some I've never heard of - those are mostly the contemporary (for the 1970 and 1980's) Christian Music ones. BUT, I've posted them on Craig's List and in the local paper here. I figured I'd post them here as well. I've done it as a "Make an Offer" situation. So if you buy a cool one, you have to take an uncool one as well. That's the deal, so I can get rid of them. :) Here's the list, yes, I'm anal and it's in ABC order. Get over it. They're all used but not abused unless otherwise noted. I think my brother's dog ate the corners of a few. If you live far away, don't forget to add shipping into the price, unless you live in MI and I'll just bring them back with me. All reasonable offers accepted. We're trying to get rid of them. If you want them all, awesome, take them and offer me a good price.

Here's the list on Craig's List:

http://hartford.craigslist.org/emd/1867747851.html

Gone to Glory

My father passed away this afternoon. My sister was with him. They made him comfortable. We've had some wonderful people minister to us already!! This morning, out of the blue, because she's been reading my stuff, Sandy Caldwell of Baptist Fellowship called and asked if it would be alright if she brought two of her children to help with the Tag Sale and to help with Lew and Audrey. I COULD NOT have done it without them! They were wonderful. She even notified the church when Dad passed away, so I didn't have to do a whole lot. I only called family and someone to take away the hospital bed, which they didn't yet (I'll call again tomorrow). Her and her boys then helped us load Beep's truck to take the remainder of the items to Goodwill. She was looking to sell her Explorer, so if the woman doesn't buy it tonight, and it's still for sale, one of you should buy it. It would take a load off their hands. She was such good company. Her boys were such good company too! They were so funny! Very witty children, so I appreciated them being around.


Mrs. Keiper, my friend from growing up, Megan's mom, came on her way back from Syracuse (she was there like a week!) and brought us dinner for tonight. It was the PERFECT dinner!! It was a cold pasta salad that was perfect on a HOT HOT day! It was pasta, zucchini, tomatoes, mozzarella, carrots, peppers, onions and chicken. Then you put this fresh bread pieces on top of it and put this lite dressing over it all - WONDERFUL!! It hit the spot!

I praise God for people like that - and the many others who stopped by out of the blue with their purest of heart sentiments: cousin, Angie Miller and her youngest son, Mr. and Mrs. Frame, Mrs. Preuss and Beep (of course!!). Please forgive me if I don't recall your visit, I can't remember too much right now.

Well, the Tag Sale is over, which is awesome. Beep and I brought the books to a book drop at the elementary school in Bolton. Done and done!! We made $750.55 over the last two days. We were open until about 2PM today.

Please pray for my mother. I'm so happy for my father because I know he's in Heaven and he's so excited to see everyone and God's going to show him how much of an impact he had on the people around him - even around the world with various mission trips and with us getting a son in South Korea. His legacy will live on and on. At times I am sad. I am sure it will hit me very soon here. Todd comes tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to that. He gets here at around noon. I will be glad to see him! We can't wait!!

Thank you all for your prayers
Erica

Final Hours

My Father is on a morphine drip to keep him comfortable. He is sedated. They took him off support at about 6 or 7 this morning. He was restless in his "sleep," so they gave him some anti anxiety stuff. He probably should have been on those a while back! Anyway, it could be moments, it could be hours. His breathing is very shallow at this time. My sister is with him now. Please pray for her. She left in the ambulance with him this morning. He's not in any pain, he's comfortable. Please pray that Jesus takes him home soon. It will be today, we just don't know when. I'll let you know.

911 Again

I tell you what, Bolton Volunteer Fire Department should get some sort of award. Especially Jimmy Pruess. I went to school with him. He was a year older and married a girl in my class. What an outstanding professional he is. He is first on the scene EVERY time 911 is called. He even came in afterward tonight and asked if I was ok because this time I was crying when he came here. It's probably the first time Jimmy ever saw me cry, for one. I didn't cry a whole lot in high school. I was more of the bullying type. Those men (I assume there are women, just haven't seen any yet) from BVFD are top notch professionals and gentlemen. Wonderful people. Bolton is very blessed at the care directed towards it's people. They get here so FAST too. Granted I think when I went to Calvin there were more attending Calvin than there were people in my whole town, but still, they get here quickly.

That being said, The LORD only knows if this is it, but I think it is. My sister took the documents we had signed last week in the hospital giving her rule over his medical stuff. My father wasn't himself, according to my mother, this afternoon. I thought he was just happy, but she said that he had a goofy grin on his face and was acting very childish. Not in a mean way, but really acting like a little kid watching the people at the Tag Sale. For some reason, that makes me want to throw up. I'm not sure why that turns my stomach, but it makes me very, very uneasy. Maybe because his memory has been in a very strange decline and he's been repeating stories and repeating directions and how blessed he is. When he tells us how blessed he is, I can almost verbatim tell you what he'll say because it is the same intonation, same words and inflection. She knew something was wrong this afternoon.

At about 1:45 she got me up because Dad wanted to role over on his side. He honestly couldn't get comfortable and didn't know exactly what he wanted. But we tried to roll him over, but he was too close to the side of the bed, so we had to restart the process. Also, he wanted his head up in his hospital bed like he was sitting straight up. Finally we couldn't exactly figure out what he wanted and what to do for him, so Mom got Cindy. Cindy went into nurse mode and took him to the bathroom, got him back into bed and straight up so he could breathe better. At that time she said, "The only thing I can really do for you, Dad is to call 911." Let me back up by saying that this week, he revoked the fact that he was under hospice care. He came home from the hospital under hospice care so that if this type of thing should happen again (which it did tonight), then my sister would just sedate him and keep him comfortable. When the hospice nurse was here he was feeling so elated with being home from the hospital, walking well etc. that he said if he got short of breath, he wanted to call 911. At that point the hospice nurse told him that if his wishes were to call 911, there was nothing she could do. She said it nicer than that, of course, but that's what she meant. HOWEVER, none of us truly believe that Dad fully heard/understood all the ramifications of declining hospice. Not that it was her fault. He heard what he wanted to hear, and wanted the best of both worlds, which you can't have.

Tonight, he was having a hard time breathing. He was so uncomfortable. He just couldn't get comfortable. He was moaning and coughing like I saw him at his worst over Easter. After Cindy asked if he wanted to call 911, he said no. So she gave him some zithromax and lasix. But you have to wait 1/2 hour in between. So she brought up her phone as an alarm and laid down in my mom's bed while my Mom rested on the couch. She gave him the second pill, but he hadn't urinated, which would mean that he was getting rid of the fluid. He hadn't even been doing that during the day really. Only a few times. Not enough to cancel out the input. He's been gaining weight, not losing it. My sister was going to have a frank talk with him in a few days if his weight didn't decrease and broach the subject of hospice again. Cindy woke me an hour later and said she had called 911. I was in by my dad and - squeamish people skip this sentence and move to the next - he was coughing up phlegm and I was wiping it away. He was saying he thought this was it. I then had to go run downstairs and get the document that said my sister was the one to make medical decisions for my Dad. Wouldn't you know, the doggone safe wouldn't open. I think my fingers were just so shaky. THIS is why EVERYONE should have a thumbprint safe because when you're scared or when the adrenaline is rushing, your dexterity is affected. Blood gets pulled centrally to protect your organs, so your fingers don't do what you want them to do. THUMBPRINT safe. Best way to go. Screw the dial (what my parents have) and the push button combo. safes. No good. Anyway, I finally got it open, with plenty of time, it's not like they were waiting on me. Then I made copies of Dad's medicines because everyone wants one. Squeamish people go to next paragraph...then my father started coughing up blood.


That means that he was filling up with fluid rapidly and my sister said to me, "I don't know, I think this is it. If I can, I'm just going to have them sedate him when I get there. We'll see how he's doing once he arrives at the ER." So that's where we're at. My mother is praying that the LORD just takes him tonight. My sister is with him, she told Mom that she didn't need to be there. I just wish someone were there with my sister. She deals with this every day, but it's her Dad this time. I just feel like I need to be there, but I don't want to step on her toes and I don't want to disobey her, and I don't want to be selfish. But she's got no one! I don't know what to do. There's stuff I can do here. I can get phone numbers together for the minister, the funeral director...etc.

Just pray God's timing would be done, and not ours. We would love God to take him now. He is ready spiritually, he is ready mentally, and he's said all he has wanted to say. I KNOW, I delivered the stinkin' messages!! He better not have any more because I don't know if I can handle any more. He was so cold and so hot, but not running a fever yet, but he probably has pneumonia. Which brings me to my next thing:

Lew has had a cough for a while. I thought it was allergies. Nothing gross coming out of him. It didn't seem like he had a fever. He IS cutting teeth (he's gotten 4 since our arrival). But I think I have a little cold, so maybe it is a cold. BUT his hasn't gone away and Audrey's has. Audrey does get allergies around this time each year, so hers could have very well been just allergies. She's fine now, but Lew's just coughing and coughing. Tonight he hit his gag reflex again, so I had to change the bedding. Good thing I was already in here blogging. Please pray for Lew as well. He's already had RSV, I don't want him to get it again here in CT. I'm going to call the doctor tomorrow most likely.

Lastly, please pray for little Audrey. I've kept it tame so far as to how my Dad would kind of snap at her, but at this point, it doesn't matter. I almost hope he makes it tonight for this very reason alone: Audrey has been going to bed super late here. She slept until like 9:15 today and she has had a nap the last few days ranging from 1 hour to 2 hours. At night she's just not tired. Last night every little thing, she was up. At the time it was kind of cute, but it was still disobedient, so I told her that tonight if she got up for a non-emergency, she'd get disciplined. She knows what emergencies are: potty, and anything that's in her room that shouldn't be: bugs, fire, people, animals. She and I go though those. Well, she got up as I was leaving to bring some stuff in from outside and I said, "Audrey, if you get up again, I have to give you a spanking." She said, "I'm going potty." So I said, "Then GO potty and stop asking me all these questions, then." She said, "I was, but what are you doing?" I said, "Just go potty and forget about it, don't worry about it. I'm not leaving." She said, as she's walking towards the bathroom SLOWLY, "But what are you doing?" I said, "I'm bring stuff in from the Tag Sale." She said, still SLOWLY walking, "What stuff?" I said, "Audrey, git!" So she "gitted" and my Dad yelled, "Audrey! If you come out again, I'll do to you what I did to your mother when she did the same thing. I'll put you over my knee and spank you! You'll go right across my knee and you'll be spanked, now I don't want to see you again tonight!" I was right there, and I've told my Dad not to discipline her when I'm there, but apparently he forgot.

Well, apparently there was a lady bug in her room. Remember the rules? If something is in your room that shouldn't be, you can come out and get mommy: bugs are one of those things. So she had apparently started out of the room, but my Dad looked at her angrily and pointed his finger at her. She told me that later, I didn't know that at the time. A few minutes later, she yelled for me from the room that there was a bug, so I got the swatter and went in and sure enough, it was a lady bug. I killed it and that's when she started to cry and said, "I was going to tell you earlier, but when I peeked out of my room, Papa pointed his finger at me to go back into my room. I'm scared of Papa. I'm scared of him. I don't want to do anything with him again. He hurt my feelings." Well, I knew this point would come, that's why I warned my father when I first got here. HOWEVER, Audrey went to bed saddened that she was scared of Papa and doesn't want to be around him, but if he dies tonight, I just hope Audrey doesn't remember what she said, and then feel badly. I hope she just remembers the good, happy times with him, and just forgets tonight and what happened. Just pray for that, that Audrey doesn't remember.

THANK YOU!

Where's Waldo, errr I mean Lew?

Can you find him? This all had to go out into the Tag Sale today. See below for info about the Tag Sale.

So today was the big day and I feel how Audrey looks. In case you can't see it: Audrey has a winter hat on, both hands inside a slipper and both feet inside a mitten. She rolled over as I took the picture, so you can see both sides. Yes, she's sound asleep with the light on. We keep it on so she can see bugs like the lady bug I had to kill tonight. I'm about to go to bed but I figured I'd tell you about the Tag Sale's first day...

Apparently no one in CT ever has a Tag Sale on Thursdays. It's always Saturday and Sunday with an occasional one on Friday to get a jump start. I've been conversing with the most interesting people. Not hard to find in CT. Also, a lot of times they'll do it on Saturday and start at like 6AM and officially open at 7; that will NOT be me on Saturday. They can wait. They keep asking me why I'm having a Tag Sale on a Thursday, and I keep explaining I'm from MI where that's what we do. One guy said that MI had the best drivers in the country. There ya go, Todd, someone finally said it besides you, so I guess it's true. It's Biblical to have two witnesses. He also said that according to an actual study CT was 3rd in the worst drivers ever category "bested" only by NY and MA, not surprising. He even cited Todd's favorite argument about merging and how in MI if you put your signal on, people actually let you in. Might I add, however, they let you in to the detriment of the flow of traffic BEHIND them. They're too polite. They put on the brakes and can cause accidents, not with the merging vehicle, but the others who are behind them. BUT I will let you MI people be proud of yourselves for a while. Good job driving!

My brother, sister and bio-mom, Grandma Coni, were invaluable today! They were real troopers. My brother and I started at about 7:30 hauling the big ticket items down from the attic and up from the basement. We then cleaned them all off. We then started putting the book shelves and entertainment systems out by the road to start to fill with the items on the porch. Here is Grandma Coni trying to price some of the items on Monday:

She crawled under the table to get to the items and then had to crawl back.

Literally the minute we started putting stuff out to the front, people were pulling over to come to the sale! I kept saying, "Well, we're not officially open until 3, but sure, you can look around." They would ask if more stuff was coming out. I'd say, "You see that porch? All that has to come out yet." I felt like saying, if you'd let me go do my job, I'd be able to get the stuff out on time. Two bookcases went right away. I was sad to see one go, but I was offered an amount I couldn't refuse. That made it more difficult to put books away. Then another bookcase fell over and broke, so Bub had to fix that. I have to do research on the records and the Bradford Exchange Plates, but those will go out on Saturday. Maybe tomorrow if I can get my research done. We're open again at 3, but stuff is out there under tarps, so it's possible we might be starting early! We'll see!

I had to talk to the people, so my sister and brother had to bring stuff off the porch. I asked my brother if he was limping tonight and he commented that he did enough "exercise for a whole month all in one day." SO TRUE! Lugging books was the worst for them! Tonight as we were pulling items in, he said, "I'm going to see if the wheelbarrow has water in it, or if I cleaned it out." Thankfully, it was dry so we could just put the books into the wheelbarrow and wheel them to the back. It was a good idea. One I bet he wished he had thought of earlier.

On top of that, they all had to man the sale while I ran a race in Hartford (shaved a minute off my time from the last race! Plus this one was harder, I thought. Less pavement, more gravel, dirt and grass). I actually didn't want to leave to run because I like this job. It's fun for me - tiring, but fun. I like talking to people. I helped a guy figure out what to bring to his church library. I deferred to my brother on the electronic stuff. He was awesome! I don't think he's talked as much in his whole life as he had to do today and I was SO PROUD of him!! I owe each of my super helpers something. Any fun ideas?? Tag Saleing is so not my sister's thing, but she was a trooper as I was running. Then she counted up the money we made and we made over $500! She and my parents also had a BIG job of taking care of the children. They were GREAT at that!! It was awesome not to have to worry about Audrey or Lew. She even pivoted the couch around so my father could sit and watch. He watched the whole thing! He had the best time looking at the people coming and going. Every time I looked up he had a smile on his face! Every time something sold, he said, "Good! Get rid of it!"

Grandma Coni was so very helpful in making all the signs. She even had to make a "Parking" sign. We literally caused a bit of a traffic jam on Route 85. It was one way traffic for a while with people taking turns. So my mother made a sign pointing people into the driveway to park. A few people took advantage of it. I couldn't believe the people who didn't mind just pulling over on this busy street!! One couple ran out of gas, so Bub put a little into the tank with a screwdriver because the funnels were not where to be seen. That was daunting. Grandma Coni also walked around with her backpack on pretending to be a spectator, but she was really watching out for people who would otherwise steal an item. Super sleuth! Maybe I get that from her...Anyway, MUST go to bed. Hope all is well with you all!!

Dad's Home and Happy to be there

I'm packed and ready to go home. Todd said, "Well, we'll miss the kids..." My brother asked if I was planning on taking the children with me when I left because of how many books I'm taking home. I've also included a picture of the porch which has all the books I'm leaving behind in bags. That way you know I'm not completely insane. They are in my trunk until the Tag Sale is over this weekend. I needed space, and my trunk was empty except for the stroller...which is now buried...

Oh man, I would have HATED to be one of the nurses or aids or whomever was at the hospital today while Dad was waiting to be home. He was so anxious to be out of there, but really, who can blame the guy? He was saying it was every one's fault - the doctor's, the hospice care people, the physical therapist, my mom - anyone he could think of. Last night he said he was going to tell the people that he doesn't have that much longer to live and they just stole a perfectly good day from him. They couldn't discharge him until we had a hospital bed set up. He said he'd sleep on the floor. My sister told him he couldn't say anything and he had to get his temper under control or else his blood pressure would go up and he wouldn't be able to be discharged at all. That just left him sputtering. I would have LOVED to be a fly on the wall when she said that!! I'm not saying this because my Dad's a bad guy, he was just so ready to be out of there and to wait for something like a hospital bed seemed stupid to him, but rules are rules. When the bed showed up, my Mom and sister went to get him right away. They told me I could be the bearer of good news to my Dad. I called him and told him that I had made it happen: he was coming home. I emphasized the part where I had made it happen. He laughed. My sister said, "You can be the good daughter by telling him this." Then they forgot his clothes and realized it once they got to the hospital! Hahahahaahahaha!!! My sister had to drive home to get them, so I really DID look like the good one! If I had gone, however, everyone knows I would have forgotten them, please!

So my Father is home and he is so excited! We were all laughing. Mostly at me. And Toddy. We were reliving a story that will go down in infamy for my poor husband. Thankfully he thinks it's really funny too. Why he ever told us this story is a mystery. Should have kept it to himself. Over Easter, we did a lot around the house. You know how it is, you go back and forth to the local hardware store a million times because you've run out of something, or something (for example caulk) is too old...etc. Todd went to purchase said caulk and took my sister's car, a very distinctly colored blue new Corolla. Anyway, we're not in the habit of locking our cars because we just don't. Often the keys will be in the vehicles, but no one in West MI really locks their doors everywhere they go. At least, not like here. As normal, Todd left the keys in the car and had it unlocked as he went into New England Hardware next to Bolton Pharmacy. He came out of the store and realized that the car was locked. He panicked until he saw the sun roof open. So he threw the caulk into the sun roof and then looked around in the car and noticed a half eaten bag of chips, and some other tell tale signs that this car was in fact NOT the one he had just been driving 2 minutes before. However, it had his caulk in its clutches with no graceful way of recovery. To be fair, the car was the EXACT color, make and model as my sister's, and while hers is very pretty, it's a very unique color, so to have one similar at the same place in podunk Bolton Lumber's parking lot is uncanny. Todd did the polite thing and waited around for the owner, but finally resigned to climbing on top of the car, reaching through the sun roof to retrieve his caulk and running to the correct car and not looking back. My family LOVES that story. Now you all can love it too.

Prayer Requests: Dad can still keep his spirits up even if he has to stay in his room for the next few days as the portable air conditioner hasn't arrived yet. Dad can be encouraged through his renewed strength. He doesn't fall - at least not on MY watch. And lastly, that it won't rain for the Tag Sale. THANKS!!!!

Update on the Update

So my father is determined to come home tomorrow. We've rearranged some furniture so he can get a hospital bed in the bedroom. I set up Mom's twin bed Friday. My bio-mom was gracious enough to let us borrow one of theirs. It actually was my Uncle Lew's bed when he was younger, which is kind of funny. We'll have to get Lew's picture in it. Anyway, the room is slightly rearranged and the house in disarray because furniture is everywhere because we don't know how big the hospital bed will be yet. Once that's in, then everything can find a home and things won't be as chaotic.

My sister and mother arranged, with Dad's cardiologist, to still be under hospice care, but not as intensely as we previously thought. I walked with my father around his wing of the floor. I never thought I'd see him walk again. My sister warned me that I had to tell him to slow down. He was totally speeding. He was just as happy to be up out of bed as anything. The walkers that the hospital gives make me very nervous. I'm glad my sister has been bringing his along instead of using theirs. I asked my Dad if he wanted to go for a walk and I've not seen him get out of bed so quickly! He was even doing it without his oxygen.

This all sounds great, and we are grateful just to have Dad's attitude back to normal, and count it an added bonus of graciousness from God that he can walk and converse. However, he's on the mend in the hospital. Not to be a downer, just a realist, we'll have to see how he does the next few weeks at home. He gets better and about 3 weeks later starts to go downhill again. That last time was awful. I don't want to experience that again. HOWEVER, I certainly don't want to get blamed again if he falls!! :)

So for the past few days, we've snuck whoopie pies in for him to eat. Actually, it was one big whoopie pie he's been taking portions of for the last few days. He was going to hide it in his bed sheets, but then thought I best put it into the 2nd drawer down in his night stand. He was so funny. I brought it as a "gift" from my mom. My sister said she's more concerned with fluid and a NO SALT diet, then she is about the sugar levels. Especially when he was hooked up to all the IVs. That could be monitored and fixed easier than the fluid levels, etc. And because he wasn't eating anything because he hadn't felt like it and felt just awful, we were willing to give him anything! Well, after he "perked up" and after God miraculously gave us our Dad back from the pit, he was famished. Enter, the whoopie pie covert operation.

Today, however, he's a little nervous about his sugar levels. They've been high (go figure!) and he is nervous that if they're too high they won't let him out of the hospital. Little does he know that because he's coming out under hospice care, we're really only waiting on a hospital bed, which they can put in the works tomorrow. I think he's just going to be happy to be home. It's where he wants to be and it's where he wants to end up, I think. I'll let you know more as it comes, but right now he's just regaining strength that he hasn't had in months. He can get up from a chair by himself! That is a miracle. Today as we were walking he was smiling and just thanking God he could even walk, stand and that his legs worked again. I'm very happy for him.

He has had a lot of time to think in the hospital. He never watches TV there, so he just thinks - which as stated before, doesn't do us a lot of good on the outside if he decides something (hence the attack on the Sunday School system at my church, not entirely unwarranted, but slightly unfounded). Every single time I visit, he tells me about the many blessings he's had through his life. Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you about them. Remind me because I'll forget. They are many, but some are really kind of cool and touch him so deeply. He is thankful for his friends, the wonderful people who have called or visited him either at home or in the hospital. Their church secretary, Lucille has been especially kind. Other ladies (and men) have been so faithful to him. I'm not always told who visits him, but the Lawrences, Mrs. Reiter, Mrs. Hopkins, Mrs. Pradetto among others. I'm not saying he wants a ton of visitors, but he has appreciated those who have been there/called. His family has also been kind. His niece called from Alaska today! He was very excited about that, even if he didn't get to talk to her directly. His nephew has been calling. This particular nephew has a special place in his heart because my father lived with his sister and brother-in-law who were 10 years older than him while attending high school. He was very close to that family. He was very close to most of his siblings, but it's a little hard being 10 out of 11.

Need sleep - have TONS of work to do this week getting ready for the tag sale Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Pray for that too: that it doesn't bother my father if he's home. It shouldn't as we'll be outside and he'll be inside, but I don't want to cause undue stress. I think it will alleviate some as it will clean up the house immensely and then I can tidy up. I KNOW my Mom will be thrilled with that! That, in turn, will make my father happy. I also hope I can get everything done. I'm feeling a little sick. My throat hurts a lot, but I think it's been all the dust I've been inhaling. My house at home is dusty, but old books in the cellar that haven't been touched in years seem to harbor a bit more than I'm used to. I can't talk without it hurting. I took Ibuprofen and now it's starting to feel a little better, so hopefully!! I just don't want to be getting sick and then get Dad sick! That would be awful. But I'm not feverish and it's only the dryness of my throat that's bothering me. Good excuse to suck down some honey! I think I'll go do that right now. Blessings to all!

Encouraging News

Well yesterday stunk, plain and simple. BUT I kind of just felt like it was the Devil taking hold of the situation and manipulating my father and my family. There was an inexplicable darkness that has been here ever since I got here. It's hard to explain. My Dad hadn't been himself, which is totally understandable, but there was a little something more to it. And yesterday was just awful and he was terrible. I thought I'd be informing you all that he had passed away last night. I just felt like there was this shadow over him that wasn't going away. So I just stopped my car and prayed in Jesus' name that anything evil or demonic would be cast far away from Dad. I mentioned this in an email to a friend and said to her,

"I want him at peace and looking forward to Heaven. I think the Devil's got him snared at this moment and I just want these last few days or whatever - however long, to be filled with an almost tangible sense of God's grace and love and peace. God can do it, I know He can, but I felt like the Devil was trying to screw things up when I got here. I believe now, that's what the situation with Audrey was all about. I've grown closer to God in these last few weeks and so has Audrey, I believe. And I think the Devil tried to thwart the amazing things God was doing and was overcome with one tactic, and so he's going after my Dad right now and that makes me angry. So I prayed that Satan and his minions would be bound from that hospital - especially Dad's room and from our home."

My friend responded and said that she would also be praying. She gave me a verse and said,
"2 Cor. 12:10 "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
In the power of Jesus' name, Satan and his minions be cast away from your dad and your family."

Our prayers for Satan to be cast away were answered!! Seriously, it's like a cloud has been lifted off the house. I can't even explain it fully! Amazing how God works through two friends praying 800 miles away! Amazing! My Dad is even making full sentences today and not crying, but making jokes! My mother said, "I wouldn't have given a nickle for your father yesterday," not being mean, just meaning he was so bad off. He made a liar out of us! We are still getting hospice and we are still not going to call the ambulance again, but we are going into it with hearts lifted.

I walked into the room and my father was literally a different person. Someone I haven't seen since before Easter. There was no darkness, there was no struggle for a decent conversation. There was no depression. Again, can't explain it other than the power of Jesus' name. I thought he was going to die last night, but today, he was making jokes! My mom and sister went to see him and he had just walked with the physical therapist. He couldn't even lift his hand yesterday. It was like he had cement on his limbs. I had even told the attorney that he might not be able to sign his name to his will, so to be prepared, but he totally proved me wrong. Stubborn son of a gun.

He refuses to be taken from the hospital back home via ambulance, but will be picked up and will walk up the stairs. My mom and sister said, "Well, you've fallen three times in the last few weeks, you might want to reconsider that." Quick as a wink he said, "Oh, I blame those on Erica." They laughed so hard and couldn't WAIT to tell me when they got home! I get to bring him his smoothie tomorrow and he's going to hear it from me. One of the falls I was in the bathroom! I told my Mom to tell him he had better be laying down when I get there tomorrow morning!

I snuck Audrey and Lew up to see him today and he asked how I got them in there and I said, "I didn't ask, I just did it." He laughed and said, "That's my girl!" Giddy might describe his temperament. Perhaps they gave him something and if they did, can we get some to take home with us???? Can I have some?? Thanks for the prayers from everyone! My aunt was so sweet and even dedicated her Rosary group prayers to my father and concentrated on him and prayed for him during that time. It was very beautiful and thoughtful of her and it's amazing how God hears our prayers! I'm convinced that all of you who had prayed yesterday and Today had something to do with the change over here. Again, so difficult to explain. The outcome hasn't changed, but the atmosphere sure has! We can breathe again and not because my Dad seems to be "doing better," but because the weight isn't there anymore! It makes me wonder if God was waiting for someone to pray about peace and protection from Satan just so He could show his power over the situation and although it doesn't change the outcome, it changes the overall experience, and I wonder if that's what God wanted all along.

I don't care if my Dad's dying, I just want him to be at peace and enjoy the days he has left which is what he seems like he's doing right now. He knows about hospice and he knows that we're not giving up on him, it will just be easier to handle everything and we can focus more on his comfort than anything else. I praise Jesus for getting rid of Satan and his cronies because seriously, I think that is what it was and I think it worked. We just need to keep Satan away. Praise God for Jesus and the strong name He has!

Angled for the Worse

My Dad grew these flowers, and they're put in a vase my friend, Julie made in high school. I clipped these and put them together for Dad when he got out of the hospital a few weeks ago. He was pleased. Well, we've finally started talking hospice. I am going with my grandfather tomorrow to pick up a twin bed for my mother to sleep in, in the bedroom while my father is in the hospital bed that hospice provides. It has been determined that he is too weak even for therapy. I could get into specifics, but I don't understand them myself, so maybe when my sister gets here tomorrow then I'll be able to put them in lay person's terms.

I will remember this, though: Today, my Dad asked specifically to see me. The head nurse even called the house and told my mom that he was asking for his, "niece, Erica." He has NEVER called me his "niece," before. That sent up a red flag for me, so I went over to the hospital right away getting Dunkin' Donuts along the way. I get there and my Dad is kind of crying. I asked him what was wrong and he wasn't sad, he said. He said, "I just love you so much and wanted to tell you that. I love Todd too." I'm sure at times he likes Todd better than me :) He said that he had been so loved through his life and he seemed like he was just remembering his blessings and I think it was overwhelming for him. But here's the best part: he saw my coffee on his tray and said, "That coffee sure looks good." I said, "Do you want to have a sip?" He said, "I think I would." I said, "Consider yourself among the privileged to get to have a sip of my coffee." He took some huge swigs. This is from a guy who has hardly eaten or drank anything for DAYS! I said, "You take way bigger sips than Lew!" By the time I was ready to go, my coffee was almost half gone. My mom was coming up right after I got home, so I just left the coffee there and she said he almost finished it! It was a large! After every sip I gave him he said, "Oh, that tastes so good." Smart man!! I wished I had a camera! That is how I am choosing to remember my father: we shared a Dunkin' Donuts Large Decaf Iced Coffee with cream and sugar.

Update

Love this picture of when Audrey was about Lew's age. Well, the doctor said that my Dad needs rehab to gain strength. He's getting so sore sitting all of the time, or laying down a lot. And getting weaker. They think his electrolytes were off this morning. The next time, we'll have him sit up, drink a little, and then stand up. He stood up and his blood pressure just plummeted. It was very scary. He's so tired. Hopefully he can get some rest in the hospital (doubt it). They are going to send him to a place to build back his strength and muscle tone. I think that will make him very happy. Maybe even Audrey can visit him there. She keeps asking, "Is Papa in a room for kids?" because he's on a floor where they don't allow children under 12. I thought he had had a stroke today. We don't know everything, and will know more tomorrow as they wanted to observe him tonight. He'll be there longer than one night, so we'll go back to running errands and getting things done as much as possible. My anxiety is back again. I woke up in the middle of the night, first of all, hungrier than anything, and secondly, my heart felt like it was racing (it wasn't). So please pray for that. I think I just need to get out and exercise. I was so looking forward to doing that today as my blister is healed, but plans changed, so I'm a little anxious as I go to bed tonight. I think if I can get regular exercise, I'll be fine. I don't want to be grouchy and ill tempered when there is something I can do about it.
Thanks for all the prayers!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, we feel each one!!

Disheartening News, but not morbid yet

We woke Dad up this morning to get him weighed and to take his vitals. I brought the scale over to the bedside and we had him sit up. Mom was on one side and I was on the other and Dad put one foot on the scale. We told him to put the other foot on the scale, but he didn't have his hearing aids in and so we shouted a little louder because you get used to that. He didn't respond. He didn't even say anything to us. I started to shout at him saying, "Dad, Dad, do you hear me? Are you there Dad? You have to put your foot up. Dad? Do you want to sit down?" Something, anything to get him to respond. He still didn't respond. Then he looked up and his mouth went open wide and he became dead weight and went limp. So I grabbed a hold of him and guided him to the floor. He was sitting on his knees and Mom was concerned about his legs being hurt. I wanted to get him responsive first, so I told Mom to call 911. I said, "Dad are you with me? It's Erica. Do you know who I am?" He finally said, "Oh, my legs hurt." I said, "Ok, are you with me? Can I straighten you out?" He said that he knew me and I could straighten him out. An old schoolmate of mine was the first on the scene as he works for Bolton Volunteer Fire Department. I tell ya, they have been AMAZING! He's in the hospital now and they are taking chest x-rays. I hope that I didn't do anything to him. I asked him if he wanted to get up and he said yes, so I wrapped him up and lifted, but he shouted out in pain, so I put him back down and asked what hurt, and he said it hurt where I wrapped him up. I said, "Well, Dad, the only way I can get you up is if I wrap you up in a bear hug and pick you up, but I don't want to do it if it hurts you. We can wait. I don't want to break anything." Hopefully I didn't screw him up even more with that. That thought just crossed my mind. Hmmm.... It's possible that his blood pressure was just too low when he stood up, but it's also possible it might be more serious. I'll keep you posted on his progress and if he's admitted or not to the hospital.

101 is hot

Bubkis is all I have to say about the earwig comment :) People in CT leave their names because they're not afraid of conflict. ;)

So it was so blasted hot today (yes, Audrey even said those exact words). There are three rooms with air at my parents: the bedrooms. My brother had the day off but spent it all downstairs because it was cooler. He took my Mom to the store today. My Dad was holed up in his bedroom today because of the heat. We have someone else coming on Wednesday about the air conditioning. A singular unit versus central air. The visiting nurse came today and told my Dad he wasn't allowed out of air conditioning. The swelling in his legs went down today but was back up at night time. However, this is encouraging because they were actually down this morning and afternoon. We moved him from his room to the computer room so he and Mom could look at the slides we had put on a CD. There were over 250 for them to look at, and now I know which ones to print. That will be tomorrow's task.

I am organizing the porch (again) because my bio-Mom is coming to help me price things for the Tag Sale. I'll finish that tomorrow, then maybe my Dad can actually sit out there when it's cooler and enjoy his flowers. I'm trying to make a path. I'll also have more pictures for you tomorrow.

For privacy reasons, I won't go into detail, but I witnessed my father in a very vulnerable, painful and frail state today. Not one I want to witness again, but I fear that will be the norm more and more. Before he wasn't in any pain, just uncomfortable, now he's experiencing some pain. My mother told him to take deep breaths, but he just can't do it. He tries to take a deep breath, but it is still very shallow. You have to look really hard when he's sleeping to see if he's still breathing. It's just hard to see your Dad who was once extremely strong, have to have help lifting his legs on to the bed, or couch. I will say, however, he surprised me today: he was able to lift his legs higher than I have seen since I've been here. I think the weights might be working to build a little strength up. I just hope it keeps up that way. That was an encouragement.

He ate really well today, but he's just so weak still. He's been so good at his exercises. We also set up his portable DVD player so he could watch David Jeremiah. He enjoyed that. We can't get that spot on his leg to fully heal, so we've been bandaging it constantly. It's not good for him to bleed because of his blood thinners, but every time I turn around I have to put a band-aid on the guy!

Hopefully tomorrow isn't as hot so he can come out of the room. That would be great! His spirits have been up, though. Before we got here, they had been a little low, but lately they seem to be just fine, which is nice to be around, for sure.

My brother has been a HUGE help to me. While I'm cleaning up after dinner, or making dinner, if he's home, he plays with Audrey and Lew to keep them occupied. He's so good with them. Their faces just light up when they see Uncle Bub. He even had Lew doing the ET Phone Home thing with the finger. He wrestles with Audrey which is what she needs - good old fashioned wrestling. Tomorrow starts her "busy season," as my sister calls it, so hopefully we can get rid of some energy while having fun. She has swimming lessons for the next two weeks 4X's a week and she starts gymnastics tomorrow going until August 10 every week. I'll have to get pictures of my brother and the kids. Every time he mows the lawn he lets Audrey ride on the lawnmower when he's done and she gets to steer. She LOVES it! Lew is content to watch. Good thing. Ok, more tomorrow, maybe.

Up in the Air

Well, as suspected Mom and Dad were up a TON last night. I think Dad counted 18 times! They are both napping now. That new pill worked, to a degree. Here is the latest, though. The pill helped my father shed 6 pounds - OVERNIGHT! However, his legs and feet are MORE swollen than yesterday and his blood pressure is too low. If it stays below 90 over whatever then he may have to go into the hospital again. Hopefully his blood pressure gets higher. Maybe I should debate end time prophesies with him. That might work. He's really struggling today, so keep him in your prayers. He's not coughing, so at least he can get some sleep, but he's not losing that fluid like he needs to. I'll keep you posted on what happens.

New News on Dad and Earwigs

Well, what started as great has settled into a state that can best be described as a nose wrinkle. I got Dad some weights, which I think I may have said before - as well as some new resistance bands. He was using those every opportunity he got yesterday. He really did a great job at them. He was trying and very diligent. He didn't feel strong enough to walk a lot, so he worked on his upper body, and just used the ankle weights a little. Although, we DID bring him into the house from outside, made him climb the 4 steps and walk to his seat with the ankle weights on (we didn't notice until way too late :) ). He made it, though!


Later that night (yesterday), Dad was walking in the kitchen with his walker and just sort of slowly tipped over. It was the strangest thing. I'm sure many of you can relate. You're watching something in slow motion almost. I looked over and saw it happening. My Mom didn't see it until it was all over. This is the second time he's fallen since he's been home from the hospital. He may have been safer there! Anyway, I think because it was the second time, and because my brother wasn't home this time to get my Dad up, it was a little too much for her. She was quite upset, as I would be too. We asked Dad if he was hurt and he wasn't hurt, so that was a big blessing. Then we had to figure out how to get him up. I tried once but failed. I was scared to wrap him too tight for fear of breaking a rib or something, but then I decided that if I did, at least I'd know it, and he would no longer be on the floor, so I just said, "This might hurt a bit, but hang on." I grabbed him from behind and wrapped my arms around his ribcage and just lifted him up. Praise God for the Urbanathlon! I was strong before I started training for that, but now I'm a force to be reckoned with, let me tell ya! We got Dad up and sitting on his walker. Audrey played nurse while telling Grammy not to be sad over Papa. He's ok, she said. She held up tissues because he did cut himself a bit. For my friends who are a little squeamish skip the next part to go to the next paragraph. He had a skin tear in about 3 places because his skin is like paper. It was bleeding a little, but more so, it was clear liquid coming out because his legs are unfortunately swollen again. The cankles have returned! Now it hasn't stopped oozing. Mom and I were thinking that we should just poke him all over his legs and just drain him of the fluid. Jokingly, of course, because he's on blood thinners and probably with our luck wouldn't clot. Oh, and besides that, it's a gross thought - what are we in a Twilight novel? Ridiculous books that they are...ok, not going on that tangent.


So for those of you who scrolled down. The fluid that had left my father, is now returning. Overnight he gained 3 pounds. Since he's been home from the hospital, he's gained 4, which is not due to eating, so it's all fluid, all of which are not good signs. He hardly eats anything and has to force down what he can. When weight gain (I think like 2 poinds in a day) happens, Mom has to call the doctor. At that point, she takes his vitals...I think three times a day so they can keep up on what's going on. The vital information goes over the phone lines and gets sent to the nurses! Crazy how that works. It's amazing what they can do. Anyway. Dad can't get out of a chair by himself anymore. That, however, should change when they decrease the dose of Prednizone again. Apparently a side effect is that it can compromise your quads, so we've been working on those.


I was going to sleep over my grandfather's house tonight to go to the 8:30Am church service tomorrow, but I decided to stay here in case Mom needed me in the middle of the night because Dad's on even more of a diuretic, so he may not get much sleep tonight. We'll have to have the kiddos outside tomorrow so he can get some rest during the day. I have a feeling he'll be up a lot. But if I can get him situated tomorrow morning and then he can stay there until my brother or I get home, then we're good.


Lastly, for all of those people who think it's a myth that those pincher bugs - you know, the ones with those nasty looking pincher things on their tails - commonly known as earwigs-don't bite, you're wrong. They do bite. I was bit by one today and it HURT. Oh man. It was a little worse than a mosquito bite. I had come in from outside and it was somehow on my shirt and then it bit me through the shirt, so I screamed and looked and it was one of those stupid bugs, so I ripped my outside shirt off (always layered - a GAP trick, and it worked this time!!) and yelled, "Seriously?! I wasn't even bothering it, why did it bite me?!" My Dad said, "Well, it WAS out of it's element on your shirt." Like it was my fault!! :) So I killed it. How do you like THEM apples? Now that THIS happened, I refuse to believe that they don't crawl in your ears. Seriously, they're named earwigs and now I find out I was right all along in thinking that they probably bite. I've always thought they get in people's ears, and I'm going to keep thinking that. Thanks a lot, Todd! :)

Out of the Hospital

Well, Dad's out of the hospital, and he's very happy about that. He got out yesterday afternoon and when he got home he just sat outside for a good long time. He never had a room where he could see outside, so the fresh air and the scenery felt good to him. He's extremely weak, but it is my understanding that he's not as weak as he was when he came out while my sister was in town. He had been eating in the hospital this time to keep from backsliding too much. The fluid in his legs is gone, so he no longer has cankles, but his skin was stretched out because of the fluid, so it's saggy. I'll take saggy over waterlogged! It means he can move his feet around better to get some strength, which he is so worried about. He wants so desperately to gain a little strength back. I told him I could help him with that if he'd stay OUT of the hospital long enough for me to get him a regiment. I'm going to get him ankle weights and wrist weights so he can do the physical therapy (which he says does nothing), with a little weight to make it challenging. He wants challenging, I'll give it to him!


I generally don't like it when he comes out of the hospital the first few days because he's been bored out of his mind and has been thinking a lot about things he doesn't bring up until you're around him. So you get lambasted with a barrage of either questions or semi-accusations about things. I'm saying this all with a smile on my face, because in all honesty, what in the world else is he going to think about? I just wish he'd let me know, so that I could research it, come to a conclusion and then actually take part in the debate, instead of looking quite foolish with nothing to say. He doesn't like how my church doesn't have Sunday School. I tried explaining to him that it does in fact have Sunday School, Todd and I just don't go. Probably shouldn't have chosen THOSE words exactly, but again, UNPREPARED! He kind of yelled at me and said, "Shame on you! You weren't brought up that way! You know better!" So I had to BACK UP and retrace my steps and explain that the timing of the Sunday School is a stupid time (yes, I, with the aura of intellect said, "stupid"). It meets after the church service while the teens have their Sunday School. I had the foresight NOT to call it catechism because that would have just been a bad decision on my part. I said that the little kids have Sunday School BEFORE church. I said Todd and I go when the topic interests us enough to have Lew and Audrey along. There is no one to watch children during Adult Sunday School, so that is why we rarely go. Then he said, "Someone needs some leadership there! There's no leadership!" I smiled and said, "Dad, we're too big for our church. This is the ONLY way we can do it until we add on to the existing building because there is just not enough room to house everyone at one time for Sunday School." He said, "I just don't like to see the children suffer because there isn't Sunday School, and I think that's what's happening." I said, "Again, we HAVE Sunday School and Audrey will go next year." It's just different here. I've actually considered NOT sending Audrey to Sunday School, but Todd wants her to go, so that's fine. But she goes to a very good christian school out there and Sunday School is a little overkill. I'd rather have her learning catechism and theology because she's totally into that, as opposed to the Bible stories that I teach her, as well as her school teaches her. BUT I didn't bring that up with my father. Not exactly the time. :) He said, "I know you don't like our Baptist Church now, but your church has some problems too." Funny he should say that because anyone in my small group knows I'm still at times stubbornly Baptist. Yes, I believe different things, but that's why America is so great - I'm allowed to. So that was the barrage I was faced with yesterday, but all is well today! We've been having a great time just relaxing.


The visiting nurse is here now and Dad doesn't really like her. I didn't understand why the last time she was here, but this time she irritated me a little too. She was telling him to use his walker - like he doesn't. And telling him not to lift things, but to place them in the basket on his walker - again, like he's an idiot. Then she finally got to the medication to go over it with my Mom. He's on like 20 different pills, and really that's not an exaggeration, it could be more. Anyway, she finally did something productive, but talked the rest of the time about crap, so I'm in here typing this, otherwise I'd ask her what exactly she does. Why is she even here?


He fell this morning, so that wasn't a great start to the day. He just bent over to try to adjust the scale and just tipped a little too far, so I heard something, not a crash or anything. Not a terrible fall, just a little bump, and then he called for Mom. She then tried to get my brother, who was in the process of leaving, so I ran out of the house just in time to get Bub before he got in his car and told him that Dad had fallen and Mom needed his help. Bub came running in and helped Dad up. That was a shock to get started on, but now the excitement has died down and Mom is going grocery shopping. I think she'll come back.