Adventure

There's no real news on the adoption front, so I figured I'd entertain you with a story about my dog, Wallace. Thursday night he woke me up at 5AM with his barking. He doesn't usually bark at night, so I immediately jumped to worse case scenario and was convinced that someone was breaking in. I looked out the back window and saw him in the back corner of our yard barking at the neighbor's pine tree. I figured he had treed a big bird or squirrel or something (I'm not thinking particularly clearly at 5AM). I went back to bed. When I woke up about 3 hours later, I saw Wallace still sitting under the tree with his head up, and wagging his tail. Whatever animal it was, I felt a little sorry for it as my dog is persistent apparently unto death.

I let him into the house to play with Audrey. A few minutes later, he was frantic at the door. As Audrey says, "Wallace was freaking out." I didn't have my contacts in, but I figured I'd let him have some fun and re-tree the squirrel. Had I had my contacts in, however, I would have noticed the enormous opossum meandering out of the tree and on to our fence. As it was, I didn't notice the ugly thing until it was actually on my fence and it was too late.

My daughter and I were screaming at Wallace to come in, but he was like, "Forget you! I've waited 3 and 1/2 hours for this thing!" Our fence is 6-8 feet high, but Wallace was jumping with all his might to get the opossum, and his effort finally paid off. He grabbed it, shook it, and killed it. Then he happily jaunts back over to me, and instead of patting him on the head like he was anticipating, I shut the door in his face. There was NO WAY he was coming into my house after that - that was the most disgusting thing I've ever witnessed.

I made the appropriate phone calls to Todd's voicemail and to my vet. While I was convinced my dog was going to die, the vet assured me Wallace would be fine because he's had all his shots. The vet said to look his face over really carefully because if he had scratches on it, those would require antibiotics. Other than that I just have to monitor for parasites, but because the animal was alive, and not dead, the chance of him contracting parasites is slim. She did recommend that I keep him away from the animal because dogs sometimes like to go back to a kill and play with it (GROSS!). I could have probably just taken care of the opossum, but I was going to wait another 9 hours to let it decompose until Todd got home. I therefore put Wallace in our coop area with his water and food. I tried to look his face over, but every time I got down to examine him, he would try to kiss me, and that was horrifying to me, so I gave up. Todd could look at him when he got home!

I decided to call, Beep, my grandfather (don't ask why he's called Beep, no one knows). FYI, Beep's real name is Audrey and my grandmother's name is Elizabeth, although, I probably told you that already. Beep knows all about this sort of stuff. The first words out of his mouth were: "Are you sure it's dead?" I COMPLETELY forgot that opossums play dead! Beep said they're also pretty fierce, so don't go out to see if it was really dead or not. I said, "That actually won't be a problem. Audrey and I are quarantined in our house for the day." I'm not sure why we couldn't go out the front yard, but for whatever reason, in my mind all outside activity was forbidden! Sure enough, as I am talking to Beep, that stupid opossum gets up and is walking around my yard!! I started yelling at it to get it to get out of my herbs and raspberries. Audrey took a stick on the porch and banged on the windows and the sides of the wall to scare it away. Wallace, of course was going nuts in the coop. I felt for him, as he was tricked. As I finished my phone call with Beep, I realized that I had lost track of the opossum and couldn't see it anymore.

Todd called back and when I told him about the situation, his first words were, "Way to go Wallace!" Basically, "My dog's the man!" All the while I'm thinking, "My dog is the grossest thing EVER." When I told him that I couldn't find the opossum again, he said, "Let Wallace out, he'll find it." I said, "Are you crazy?! Then I have to relive this entire scenario AGAIN, and it's only 9:30AM, and I am done for the day! I am emotionally drained from this entire experience!" I did, however, let Wallace out when I left to go mentor my student from Kid's Hope. I figured that I wouldn't have to watch, and I wouldn't look outside when I got back. If Todd was so proud of his dog, he could go out and see if the opossum was still out there when he got home!

This kind of stuff is supposed to happen in the country, not in suburbia! When I saw the opossum walking around, I told Beep that I did wish I had my gun still, so I could shoot it. Beep reminded me that I was, in fact in the suburbs and couldn't just go shooting things. His suggestion: To take a long handled shovel and beat it to death! How is that better?!

The next night, I heard a few dogs barking in the same general area of the accursed pine tree that harbors disgusting animals unbiasedly. I immediately let Wallace in. No way was he going to have that kind of excitement ever again.

Korea vs. Japan

The results of the trivia quiz: The Korean flag has a white background with a red and blue circle and black dashes going around said circle. The Japanese flag has a white background with a red circle in it. Good try!

Parents Getting What They Deserve

Ok, so we've all been told a number of times by our parents, "I hope you get a kid just like you!" Well, I did. I have a strong-willed-child. Now, granted, I've seen worse - I'm pretty sure I WAS worse, but Audrey is quite the "SWC." I have heard that you next kid won't be "as bad," but when you adopt, does that still hold true? I'm pretty sure it doesn't, because it's kind of a wild card. Anyway, I'll be prepared, because I was reading a book the other day that was supposed to help me figure out my SWC. It's by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias. She's an ex-cop, which intrigued me. Anyway, she had a quiz in there to determine if you/your child is strong willed. I took the test and was completely blown away. I always knew I was strong willed, but I never knew how badly. Apparently, I don't leave home without it. Here's the quiz so you all can maybe have similar revelations (about yourself, not about me). I got it from Family Life Today if you're interested (see the link to the side):

Just add up how many of these statements are true for you:

• When told to give up because it's impossible, I'm willing to move heaven and earth to prove you wrong.
• I can move with lightening speed from being a warm, loving presence to being a cold, immovable force.
• I may argue the point into the ground, sometimes just to see how far into the ground the point will go.
• When given the ultimatum "Do it or else," I will often just "else."
• I consider rules to be guidelines. (I'm abiding by the spirit of the law; why are you being so picky?)
• I can show great creativity and resourcefulness; I always seem to find a way to accomplish the goal.
• I can turn what seems to be the smallest issue into a grand crusade or a raging controversy.
• I don't do things just because "you're suppose to"; it needs to matter to me personally. (I need to be inspired.)
• I usually refuse to obey unconditionally; I almost always have a few terms of
  negotiation before complying.
• I'm not afraid to try the unknown, to conquer the unfamiliar (but I'll choose my own risks.)
• I've been told I can take what was meant to be the simplest request and interpret it as an offensive ultimatum.
• I may not say the exact words to apologize, but I do make things right.

Your Score: How Much Strong Will Do You Have?
0 – 3 You've got it, but you don't use it much.
4 – 7 You use it when you need to, but not on a daily basis.
8 – 10 You've got a good strong dose of it, but you can back off when you want to.
11-12 You don't leave home without it, and it's almost impossible not to use it.

There better not be any comments after this!

1st Update/Snag

Here is the latest on the Korean adoption front. It's set back for 1 or 2 months right now. Here is the email explanation I got yesterday from my case worker, who had received it from a different person. Apparently the director from Bethany is in Korea now trying to smooth things over:


I know I gave a preliminary date of April 1 to start with new quota families. But, we are going to delay that a month or two at this time. I know that is not a popular decision, but it is a step to keep our waiting times in check, and not remain at the current 18 month wait time. We still have two 2006 families who are waiting for referrals.

As you may have noticed, we have not received many referrals yet this year. This is not unique to Bethany or Holt Korea agencies, yet we have not heard reasoning or rationale behind this. I continue to explore this with DJ, please thank your families for their continued patience and support.

Unrelated to our intake or lower than usual referral numbers, is a case in Iowa where an adoptive parent murdered his family and all four children were Korean adoptees. As with past stories involving adoptees, the support of international adoption in Korea certainly waivers when news like this breaks. Also, there is a Korean adoptee community in Korea that is very anti-adoption that likes to "stir the pot", and this has again fueled their fight. As collective Korean agencies (both Holt Korea and the others) we are looking for ways to counteract this negative view. Any ideas you have would be appreciated, and we may be calling upon you all for future assistance in contacting some of your older Korean adoptees. Thank you for your thoughtfulness as we continue to through these bumps in the road for the children.

Bill Blacquiere is visiting Korea this week and the JCICS conference is next week, where the Korea Caucus will be meeting. I look for insight both from Bill's visit and other Korea agencies, and will share more later in April. All the best, and keep praying for the kids waiting for their forever families!


While Todd and I aren't in any huge rush, there are some families who desperately want a child and are waiting anxiously. We'll probably feel that way in a few months, but since it's early on for us, it's not as "real" yet, if that makes sense.

PLEASE PRAY FOR THINGS TO SMOOTH OVER QUICKLY.

The Why Behind the What (Part II): Erica's Story

My mother (the aforementioned Irish one) had me when she was young and unmarried. She had me back in a time when unwed mothers were not as prevalent as they are today. She chose life. I'd like to think Todd is ever grateful on a daily basis, but that might be wishful thinking. It was difficult for her to make ends meet, and ultimately, she made the brave decision to give me to her aunt and uncle, the people I call my parents to this day.

My parents were 56 when they adopted an 18month old. Can you imagine that?! That exhausts me thinking about it, and I'm only 28. I say "only" 28 as I was humbled by my three year old today. She said to me, "Mommy, that looks like pasta." I said, "Oh, your hair looks like pasta?" She said, "No, when you do this," and she made a face. After she and I went back and forth trying to figure out what I was doing that looked like pasta, she lovingly informed me that the wrinkles in my forehead were what looked like pasta!

Anyway, my father was prepared to retire, and had to work an extra few years (I think like 6 more years of hard physical labor). My mother also was working part time as a nurse while caring for me and her aging mother (who also lived with them!). They were planning on retiring to Florida some day. They eventually had to sell their property. Apparently I/Calvin was expensive. I think after a winter like what we had (and still are having, for that matter - did anyone else get snow today?), I would have loved for them to retire down there so I could just camp out in the fun and sun!

When people ask me how I know God exists, I reply that it is easier for me than others. I can clearly see God's hand over my entire life. Psalm 139 is one of my favorite passages of scripture because it speaks so vividly of my life. You should read it. I'm not writing it, so my friends who are not necessarily Christians are forced to crack open the Bible. Split the Bible down the middle and you're bound to land on a psalm. Good luck!

God told my biological mother to leave the abusive relationship she was in. She was obedient and left. She followed His promptings. My mother who raised me had several dreams where God clearly told her that she needed to get in touch with my biological mother and see if they could help in any way. She didn't say anything at first until it went from one dream to multiple dreams. My father knew enough to listen to my mother because God seems to speak to her in dreams, and he had learned from their 30 or so years of marriage.

When they contacted my biological mother, they offered to take me one day a week to give her a break. When it came down to the difficult decision my biological mother made to give me a better life, my parents were there. They took me in and raised me as their own.

I am continually grateful to my parents for how much they love me. I love them with all my heart and can only hope to be 1/2 the parent they are to my children. Even if I'm only a fraction of what they are, my kids will be in good shape. I only wish all of you were around my parents as I was growing up. Everyone who spends any amount of time with them is eternally blessed. My aunts and uncles always say that they are salt of the earth, and they truly are - even if they're both technically not supposed to have any. :) My parents were always the cool parents - even at 60 and 70! All my friends wanted to be at my house because they would let us stay up late and eat whatever we wanted (I was a rather fat sophomore). My mom used to say that she just loved to hear us girls giggling and having a good time, which is why she never came into the room to tell us to go to sleep. Other parents were so grouchy and would yell at us at midnight. My dad doesn't hear so well, so I guess he didn't care too much either.

My parents are the reason I'm so into adoption. I was adopted. They sacrificed a lot for me. They showed me what it means in the Bible when it says that God adopts us into His family when we're saved. I'll write these verses so as not to overwhelm my friends who are still in the psalms: Galatians 4:4-6 "But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, 'Abba! Father!'" The whole concept of God's sovereignty and His love for us and His calling us to Himself has never been too difficult for me to understand because of what my parents did for me. I hadn't earned their love because I was so little. That's how we all start out in Christ. We're all babies, so to speak. We don't deserve His love and we don't earn it, but He freely gives it to us. They demonstrated that to me every day growing up. Now, I have a husband who carries on the tradition of doting on Erica. I don't deserve it (just ask him!), but he does it anyway. Aren't I blessed?? :)

I was able to see my biological mother often. She was and is still a big part of my life. I enjoy a wonderful relationship with her to this day. A relationship I wouldn't change for the world. Her life is a testament to God's mercy and grace. I think it was good that she didn't raise me my whole life, because I'm sure she'd admit, we're too much alike, and we know exactly how to get under each other's skin. We're good for about a 6 day span before we step on each other's toes. Solidarity for the strong-willed women!

To sum it up: I had parents who demonstrated God's love and adoption while I was weak and undeserving (especially in the teen years when I thought I knew it all - I guess some things never change), so adoption has always been in the back of my mind for that reason. My biological mother deserves a big thank you for choosing life. Besides the morality of it, she's the #1 reason for my belief in Pro-Life.

The Why Behind the What (Part I)

Many of you guys have been asking us why we're adopting. For the sake of ease, I'll write it out in installments. I'm sure if Todd were to write it out, it would be three sentences, but since I'm writing it, I'll make it into installments.

First and foremost Todd and I believe in pro-life. That is what we will talk about in this installment. We have heard it said by Dennis Rainey of Family Life Today (see link on the left) that if you claim to be pro-life, you should also be pro-adoption. Now, that does not mean that everyone is called to adopt, but it does mean that everyone has an obligation to somehow get involved. This is where we enter in. We felt God calling us to adopt. We feel so strongly against abortion, that we feel that we have an obligation to support the children (in our case one child in particular) of the moms who choose life.

Many times we tote the company line and say that we're pro-life without going the extra step. So what if we're pro-life? Those are just words, and when there's a woman or a girl who is pregnant and scared, does she give a rip about our opinions? No, she wants to know who will be there for her. She wants to know how she can care for this infant. She's been told she's making the "right decision," but who are we kidding? In her world, it would probably be easier - especially financially, if she were to abort the child.

If she aborted the child, then she perhaps wouldn't have to tell her parents of her pregnancy and risk disappointing them. It's possible she could avoid an abusive situation, or a neglectful situation. Maybe she wouldn't have an additional mouth to feed if she aborted the child. She can barely get by as it is, and babies are EXPENSIVE - just ask the princess who lives with us! If she does keep the baby, then she will have to find adequate day care while she holds down often numerous jobs.

Honestly, does this woman care in the least who is pro-life? Does she care that Todd and I boycott certain businesses because they donate money to Planned Parenthood? Does she care that we write letters to express our reasons for boycotting? Does she even care that we call ourselves Christians?

Todd and I just felt that we, in a sense, needed to put our money where our mouth is. We were being led by God to go the extra step. Pure and lasting religion is, in part, taking care of the orphan. We salute women and girls who have chosen life, and in order for that to mean anything to us, we felt that we needed to partner along side one such woman and adopt her child. She was gracious enough to give the child life when it would have been easier not to. We're not going to leave here there alone. We're not going to say, "Good, you made the right decision. We salute you. Way to go! Good luck with that." We're going to enter her world and accept the gift of her child that God has ordained to be a part of our lives.

Stay tuned for Installment #2.

Girl Names Poll

Apparently everyone likes Lila for a girl name and none of the other options. Hazel was runner up with 2 votes (one being mine). Erica got one vote, and I'm pretty sure it was from my mother (thanks, Ma, but it doesn't really count coming from you). Also, Eileen got one vote. Again, I'm pretty sure that was from my very Irish mother, whose aunt (please pronounce "aunt" correctly, so no one confuses her with an insect) was named Eileen. Eleanor - poor Eleanor, no one's really interested in that name. I can't say I truly blame anyone, but it kind of makes me want to pick it out of spite. For your information, Eleanor is a hybrid to name the child after my Aunt Ellen and my mother Norma. Now y'all feel bad, don't ya?

I always pictured my little Latin American daughter being called Lila Helene after Todd's dad, Lyle, and his grandma, Helene (or Helena, I should know which one it is, but Helene sounds better with Lila, so we're going with that). I also always pictured my little Asian daughter being called Hazel Ruth after Todd's mom, Ruth. Hazel's just a bonus name I like because there's a "z" in it. Honestly, how many names do you know have a "z" in them? I think, however, due to Todd's grandma's age and health, we might have to switch them up and name our Asian daughter Lila Helene, and if, God willing, we adopt from Latin America, name that daughter Hazel Ruth.

We'll let you know. Again, nothing is set in stone, and this is just the short list.

I like these polls, they're fun. If you have any ideas for a new poll, let me know and we'll put it up!