Officially Waiting

We got word on Friday that our paperwork would be sent over to South Korea tomorrow (Monday)! I think having those little girls (and one boy) that were available, helped our situation. That took two more families out of line ahead of us. We weren't given a time frame yet, but we are thinking about 9 months, maybe a little more.

Of course any travel time would be fine with us, but what would be super, is if we could travel next winter. That would be GREAT as far as Todd's work goes. Please pray for that.

On a completely different note: we really should only be allowed one child. Today in church, our pastor was instructing us to remember our baptisms and how we are children of God. That is our title, so we should act accordingly. When we don't act accordingly, it makes our title, or what we say we associate with, meaningless. He gave a few examples. One such example goes as follows:

Say you're walking around downtown Chicago. You look across the street and see your friend sitting at a cafe. You're just about to walk over, when you see an attractive blonde, who is not his wife, sit down across the table from him and lean in to give her a kiss.

The premise of the story is that his wedding ring, the symbol of his marriage, means nothing because of his actions. However, our pastor didn't get to sum up this particular story, because as soon as he said, "She leaned in to give her a kiss," Audrey, who was happily playing with her princess dress-up magnets, says, LOUDLY, "Eeeewwwww!"

It completely caught Todd and I off guard. You never know how much she is listening to things, and we were both into the sermon and not focused so much on her. I turned a dozen shades of red. The pastor tried to keep going, but people were laughing too hard, so he said, "Let's just get back into First Corinthians."

Seriously, who let us have children in the first place?

Two Little Girls + an Update

Bethany Christian Services emailed us last week about two little girls who need homes. They are considered special needs and are therefore in Bethany's Children of Promise Program. We have since emailed Bethany back to inquire more about their condidtions. They have very minor special needs, but we've been told that Korea does that. Korea will deem a child special needs maybe a little quicker than a different country. Because their needs are minor, there will be a lot of families who want them. Even if we don't adopt one of them, they should still be prayed for, so that's why I'm mentioning them to you now:

Mun, Jin-na's special need is noted that her birth mother suffered from leukemia when she was four years old. Birthmom received medical care for two years. Jin-na was born 11-21-07.

Yi, Min Gyeong's special need is noted to a neurology consult for "crying a lot everyday". We do not yet have the results of this consult, but her development seems on track. Min-gyeong was born 11.21.07 also.

I would link their pictures, but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to do that or not, so I'd better be safe than sorry. They both are EXTREMELY cute! If anyone has any information that would help in knowing more about their conditions, we would appreciate it.

On the other end, we have an update. Two more families received their referrals last week! That means we're two more families closer to getting our paperwork sent over to Korea. I'll keep you posted!

Adventure

There's no real news on the adoption front, so I figured I'd entertain you with a story about my dog, Wallace. Thursday night he woke me up at 5AM with his barking. He doesn't usually bark at night, so I immediately jumped to worse case scenario and was convinced that someone was breaking in. I looked out the back window and saw him in the back corner of our yard barking at the neighbor's pine tree. I figured he had treed a big bird or squirrel or something (I'm not thinking particularly clearly at 5AM). I went back to bed. When I woke up about 3 hours later, I saw Wallace still sitting under the tree with his head up, and wagging his tail. Whatever animal it was, I felt a little sorry for it as my dog is persistent apparently unto death.

I let him into the house to play with Audrey. A few minutes later, he was frantic at the door. As Audrey says, "Wallace was freaking out." I didn't have my contacts in, but I figured I'd let him have some fun and re-tree the squirrel. Had I had my contacts in, however, I would have noticed the enormous opossum meandering out of the tree and on to our fence. As it was, I didn't notice the ugly thing until it was actually on my fence and it was too late.

My daughter and I were screaming at Wallace to come in, but he was like, "Forget you! I've waited 3 and 1/2 hours for this thing!" Our fence is 6-8 feet high, but Wallace was jumping with all his might to get the opossum, and his effort finally paid off. He grabbed it, shook it, and killed it. Then he happily jaunts back over to me, and instead of patting him on the head like he was anticipating, I shut the door in his face. There was NO WAY he was coming into my house after that - that was the most disgusting thing I've ever witnessed.

I made the appropriate phone calls to Todd's voicemail and to my vet. While I was convinced my dog was going to die, the vet assured me Wallace would be fine because he's had all his shots. The vet said to look his face over really carefully because if he had scratches on it, those would require antibiotics. Other than that I just have to monitor for parasites, but because the animal was alive, and not dead, the chance of him contracting parasites is slim. She did recommend that I keep him away from the animal because dogs sometimes like to go back to a kill and play with it (GROSS!). I could have probably just taken care of the opossum, but I was going to wait another 9 hours to let it decompose until Todd got home. I therefore put Wallace in our coop area with his water and food. I tried to look his face over, but every time I got down to examine him, he would try to kiss me, and that was horrifying to me, so I gave up. Todd could look at him when he got home!

I decided to call, Beep, my grandfather (don't ask why he's called Beep, no one knows). FYI, Beep's real name is Audrey and my grandmother's name is Elizabeth, although, I probably told you that already. Beep knows all about this sort of stuff. The first words out of his mouth were: "Are you sure it's dead?" I COMPLETELY forgot that opossums play dead! Beep said they're also pretty fierce, so don't go out to see if it was really dead or not. I said, "That actually won't be a problem. Audrey and I are quarantined in our house for the day." I'm not sure why we couldn't go out the front yard, but for whatever reason, in my mind all outside activity was forbidden! Sure enough, as I am talking to Beep, that stupid opossum gets up and is walking around my yard!! I started yelling at it to get it to get out of my herbs and raspberries. Audrey took a stick on the porch and banged on the windows and the sides of the wall to scare it away. Wallace, of course was going nuts in the coop. I felt for him, as he was tricked. As I finished my phone call with Beep, I realized that I had lost track of the opossum and couldn't see it anymore.

Todd called back and when I told him about the situation, his first words were, "Way to go Wallace!" Basically, "My dog's the man!" All the while I'm thinking, "My dog is the grossest thing EVER." When I told him that I couldn't find the opossum again, he said, "Let Wallace out, he'll find it." I said, "Are you crazy?! Then I have to relive this entire scenario AGAIN, and it's only 9:30AM, and I am done for the day! I am emotionally drained from this entire experience!" I did, however, let Wallace out when I left to go mentor my student from Kid's Hope. I figured that I wouldn't have to watch, and I wouldn't look outside when I got back. If Todd was so proud of his dog, he could go out and see if the opossum was still out there when he got home!

This kind of stuff is supposed to happen in the country, not in suburbia! When I saw the opossum walking around, I told Beep that I did wish I had my gun still, so I could shoot it. Beep reminded me that I was, in fact in the suburbs and couldn't just go shooting things. His suggestion: To take a long handled shovel and beat it to death! How is that better?!

The next night, I heard a few dogs barking in the same general area of the accursed pine tree that harbors disgusting animals unbiasedly. I immediately let Wallace in. No way was he going to have that kind of excitement ever again.

Korea vs. Japan

The results of the trivia quiz: The Korean flag has a white background with a red and blue circle and black dashes going around said circle. The Japanese flag has a white background with a red circle in it. Good try!

Parents Getting What They Deserve

Ok, so we've all been told a number of times by our parents, "I hope you get a kid just like you!" Well, I did. I have a strong-willed-child. Now, granted, I've seen worse - I'm pretty sure I WAS worse, but Audrey is quite the "SWC." I have heard that you next kid won't be "as bad," but when you adopt, does that still hold true? I'm pretty sure it doesn't, because it's kind of a wild card. Anyway, I'll be prepared, because I was reading a book the other day that was supposed to help me figure out my SWC. It's by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias. She's an ex-cop, which intrigued me. Anyway, she had a quiz in there to determine if you/your child is strong willed. I took the test and was completely blown away. I always knew I was strong willed, but I never knew how badly. Apparently, I don't leave home without it. Here's the quiz so you all can maybe have similar revelations (about yourself, not about me). I got it from Family Life Today if you're interested (see the link to the side):

Just add up how many of these statements are true for you:

• When told to give up because it's impossible, I'm willing to move heaven and earth to prove you wrong.
• I can move with lightening speed from being a warm, loving presence to being a cold, immovable force.
• I may argue the point into the ground, sometimes just to see how far into the ground the point will go.
• When given the ultimatum "Do it or else," I will often just "else."
• I consider rules to be guidelines. (I'm abiding by the spirit of the law; why are you being so picky?)
• I can show great creativity and resourcefulness; I always seem to find a way to accomplish the goal.
• I can turn what seems to be the smallest issue into a grand crusade or a raging controversy.
• I don't do things just because "you're suppose to"; it needs to matter to me personally. (I need to be inspired.)
• I usually refuse to obey unconditionally; I almost always have a few terms of
  negotiation before complying.
• I'm not afraid to try the unknown, to conquer the unfamiliar (but I'll choose my own risks.)
• I've been told I can take what was meant to be the simplest request and interpret it as an offensive ultimatum.
• I may not say the exact words to apologize, but I do make things right.

Your Score: How Much Strong Will Do You Have?
0 – 3 You've got it, but you don't use it much.
4 – 7 You use it when you need to, but not on a daily basis.
8 – 10 You've got a good strong dose of it, but you can back off when you want to.
11-12 You don't leave home without it, and it's almost impossible not to use it.

There better not be any comments after this!

1st Update/Snag

Here is the latest on the Korean adoption front. It's set back for 1 or 2 months right now. Here is the email explanation I got yesterday from my case worker, who had received it from a different person. Apparently the director from Bethany is in Korea now trying to smooth things over:


I know I gave a preliminary date of April 1 to start with new quota families. But, we are going to delay that a month or two at this time. I know that is not a popular decision, but it is a step to keep our waiting times in check, and not remain at the current 18 month wait time. We still have two 2006 families who are waiting for referrals.

As you may have noticed, we have not received many referrals yet this year. This is not unique to Bethany or Holt Korea agencies, yet we have not heard reasoning or rationale behind this. I continue to explore this with DJ, please thank your families for their continued patience and support.

Unrelated to our intake or lower than usual referral numbers, is a case in Iowa where an adoptive parent murdered his family and all four children were Korean adoptees. As with past stories involving adoptees, the support of international adoption in Korea certainly waivers when news like this breaks. Also, there is a Korean adoptee community in Korea that is very anti-adoption that likes to "stir the pot", and this has again fueled their fight. As collective Korean agencies (both Holt Korea and the others) we are looking for ways to counteract this negative view. Any ideas you have would be appreciated, and we may be calling upon you all for future assistance in contacting some of your older Korean adoptees. Thank you for your thoughtfulness as we continue to through these bumps in the road for the children.

Bill Blacquiere is visiting Korea this week and the JCICS conference is next week, where the Korea Caucus will be meeting. I look for insight both from Bill's visit and other Korea agencies, and will share more later in April. All the best, and keep praying for the kids waiting for their forever families!


While Todd and I aren't in any huge rush, there are some families who desperately want a child and are waiting anxiously. We'll probably feel that way in a few months, but since it's early on for us, it's not as "real" yet, if that makes sense.

PLEASE PRAY FOR THINGS TO SMOOTH OVER QUICKLY.

The Why Behind the What (Part II): Erica's Story

My mother (the aforementioned Irish one) had me when she was young and unmarried. She had me back in a time when unwed mothers were not as prevalent as they are today. She chose life. I'd like to think Todd is ever grateful on a daily basis, but that might be wishful thinking. It was difficult for her to make ends meet, and ultimately, she made the brave decision to give me to her aunt and uncle, the people I call my parents to this day.

My parents were 56 when they adopted an 18month old. Can you imagine that?! That exhausts me thinking about it, and I'm only 28. I say "only" 28 as I was humbled by my three year old today. She said to me, "Mommy, that looks like pasta." I said, "Oh, your hair looks like pasta?" She said, "No, when you do this," and she made a face. After she and I went back and forth trying to figure out what I was doing that looked like pasta, she lovingly informed me that the wrinkles in my forehead were what looked like pasta!

Anyway, my father was prepared to retire, and had to work an extra few years (I think like 6 more years of hard physical labor). My mother also was working part time as a nurse while caring for me and her aging mother (who also lived with them!). They were planning on retiring to Florida some day. They eventually had to sell their property. Apparently I/Calvin was expensive. I think after a winter like what we had (and still are having, for that matter - did anyone else get snow today?), I would have loved for them to retire down there so I could just camp out in the fun and sun!

When people ask me how I know God exists, I reply that it is easier for me than others. I can clearly see God's hand over my entire life. Psalm 139 is one of my favorite passages of scripture because it speaks so vividly of my life. You should read it. I'm not writing it, so my friends who are not necessarily Christians are forced to crack open the Bible. Split the Bible down the middle and you're bound to land on a psalm. Good luck!

God told my biological mother to leave the abusive relationship she was in. She was obedient and left. She followed His promptings. My mother who raised me had several dreams where God clearly told her that she needed to get in touch with my biological mother and see if they could help in any way. She didn't say anything at first until it went from one dream to multiple dreams. My father knew enough to listen to my mother because God seems to speak to her in dreams, and he had learned from their 30 or so years of marriage.

When they contacted my biological mother, they offered to take me one day a week to give her a break. When it came down to the difficult decision my biological mother made to give me a better life, my parents were there. They took me in and raised me as their own.

I am continually grateful to my parents for how much they love me. I love them with all my heart and can only hope to be 1/2 the parent they are to my children. Even if I'm only a fraction of what they are, my kids will be in good shape. I only wish all of you were around my parents as I was growing up. Everyone who spends any amount of time with them is eternally blessed. My aunts and uncles always say that they are salt of the earth, and they truly are - even if they're both technically not supposed to have any. :) My parents were always the cool parents - even at 60 and 70! All my friends wanted to be at my house because they would let us stay up late and eat whatever we wanted (I was a rather fat sophomore). My mom used to say that she just loved to hear us girls giggling and having a good time, which is why she never came into the room to tell us to go to sleep. Other parents were so grouchy and would yell at us at midnight. My dad doesn't hear so well, so I guess he didn't care too much either.

My parents are the reason I'm so into adoption. I was adopted. They sacrificed a lot for me. They showed me what it means in the Bible when it says that God adopts us into His family when we're saved. I'll write these verses so as not to overwhelm my friends who are still in the psalms: Galatians 4:4-6 "But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, 'Abba! Father!'" The whole concept of God's sovereignty and His love for us and His calling us to Himself has never been too difficult for me to understand because of what my parents did for me. I hadn't earned their love because I was so little. That's how we all start out in Christ. We're all babies, so to speak. We don't deserve His love and we don't earn it, but He freely gives it to us. They demonstrated that to me every day growing up. Now, I have a husband who carries on the tradition of doting on Erica. I don't deserve it (just ask him!), but he does it anyway. Aren't I blessed?? :)

I was able to see my biological mother often. She was and is still a big part of my life. I enjoy a wonderful relationship with her to this day. A relationship I wouldn't change for the world. Her life is a testament to God's mercy and grace. I think it was good that she didn't raise me my whole life, because I'm sure she'd admit, we're too much alike, and we know exactly how to get under each other's skin. We're good for about a 6 day span before we step on each other's toes. Solidarity for the strong-willed women!

To sum it up: I had parents who demonstrated God's love and adoption while I was weak and undeserving (especially in the teen years when I thought I knew it all - I guess some things never change), so adoption has always been in the back of my mind for that reason. My biological mother deserves a big thank you for choosing life. Besides the morality of it, she's the #1 reason for my belief in Pro-Life.